The purpose of this blog is to encourage and empower wheelchair users, which I primarily try to do by showing what is possible when people get involved with a fun, social, recreational sport like bowling. The benefits of having success bowling can give the user confidence that can carry over to positively impact other areas of their life (so says therapeutic recreation experts).
However, one aspect of life that people who require power wheelchairs may feel like they have to forego because of their disability, is the prospect for love and potentially marriage. While I never gave up on the possibility that I would find the right person for me, I knew that it would require a special person who could see past the wheelchair and accept the additional challenges that paralysis adds to having a relationship.
I eventually learned that what many women most want is someone who will treat them very well, give them plenty of positive attention via frequent communication, and to be loved unconditionally — by good guys. A wheelchair doesn’t prohibit that, and there are quite a few good guys who happen to be wheelchair users.
From a thousand miles away, I connected with the person that I believe God intended for me, with the help of the Internet and many thanks to God. It was actually a blessing to meet from afar because it “forced” us to establish excellent communication, which is a huge key to success for any relationship (one reason why is because good communication builds trust, which is the foundation for a healthy relationship).
For many reasons, Lisa & I believe we are right for each other, but perhaps the most amazing thing about her and our relationship is that, all in all, she believes that the many positives in our relationship FAR outweigh the additional challenges. I was hoping to find someone who was open to that perspective, if we connected well.
Well, Lisa & I share a tremendous connection and I’m gratefully blessed to share that we got engaged yesterday about sunset at a wonderful local park. You can see some pictures HERE. (I’m trying to keep this blog tone “matter of factual” but, I could not be happier about being engaged to Lisa!:)
I’ve been asked by a few wheelchair users about how to potentially develop a romantic relationship with someone, and my answer is that it should start with good communication. If you find someone who enjoys communicating with you and vice versa, and especially on a daily basis, at the very least that sounds like a good friendship, and it could develop into more. That’s essentially the path that Lisa & I took, and I think it can work for others too — whether disabilities are involved or not.
I hope my story can be encouraging.
Bill Miller :-)
C1-2 Quadriplegic with a 255 High Bowling Game
Co-founder of Manufacturing Genuine Thrills Inc. d/b/a MGT
My blog: https://powerwheelchairusers.wordpress.com
Business website: http://www.ikanbowler.com
Personal website: http://www.lookmomnohands.net
I think a lot of people feel uncomfortable with what they don’t understand. They are scared of disability and assume things about our lives. Most of my friends are married and have kids. Disability hasn’t stopped them
Bill…Harry & I are so happy for you and Lisa. It truly is amazing how we find our sole mates. I always worried that no one would accept my polio disabiltiy, but I too found a sole mate that saw me and not my disabillity. People like you and I do not define our lives by our disability. We hope you two will be blessed with a life time of happiness. Fondly, Diane & Harry Bowman(jule’s sister)
P.S. See you at the bowling alley tomorrow around 3:00
I love this!! I’m so happy for you and Lisa! :)
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